Student’s Need: Student had a really rough—and rushed—first draft. I
improved the vocabulary and fixed all grammatical mistakes. Most important, the
student needed to trim the essay from 312 to 250 words.
Job: 45
minutes total. ($400/hour x .75) = $300.
Billing: I will bill the parent for my time, in increments of 15 minutes. Note: students should allow a reasonable turnover time for edits (5 to 7 days). It’s impossible for me to edit with short notice, since I have many essays to edit, in addition to my regular tutoring schedule.
STUDENT’S DRAFT: 312 Words
One thing that the Common Application doesn't reveal about me is that I’m the type of person that never gives up and keeps on trying. Whether it be with sports or an academic class, I have never given up on anything and have always kept pushing to do my best. When I first started to play tennis, I was awful at the sport. I didn’t know what I was doing at all. I was worse than the average person that first started to play tennis, but I wasn’t going to let that inhibit my chances of getting better. I kept playing other player that were better than me and eventually got a little better. Although I’m still no amazing tennis player, I can proudly say that I never gave up and I might be a starter for the boys Varsity Tennis Team in the spring of 2010. I will find out about my coach’s decision sometime this summer, and I believe that my hard work will pay off in the end.
It isn’t only in sports that I don’t give up, it is also in life. When I first switched schools, I had difficulty adjusting to the social scene. The new school was confusing, and none of the teachers were friendly. I felt lost all over the place. My parents had moved from Boston to New York City, against my will. When I first started to take physics I was having some difficulty in the class, but again, I never gave up. I went to the teacher for extra help and made sure I had enough time every night to study some extra physics when I was done with my homework. At the end I ended up improving my grade a lot. I believe that never giving up is a very important thing for any student going into college to have.
EDITED VERSION: 250 WORDS
One thing that the Common Application doesn't reveal about me is my perseverance. On the playing field or in the classroom, I have never given up on anything and have always strived to do my best. When I first started playing tennis I was awkward and uncoordinated. But I wasn’t going to let my inexperience inhibit my chances of improving. I kept playing other players who were better and tried to learn from the experience, even from the losses. Although I’m far from perfect, I can proudly say that I never gave up and I might be a starter for the boys Varsity Tennis Team in the spring of 2010.
It isn’t only in sports that I don’t give up; it is also in the classroom. When I first studied physics I had difficulty understanding vectors, but again, I persevered. I went to the teacher for extra help and made sure I had enough time every night to study extra physics when I was done with my homework. I read one chapter ahead, even if my eyes became tired and droopy. Eventually, I ended up improving my grade. More important, I’ve learned to love physics as an intellectual experience. The concepts are difficult to grasp, but the challenge is making me stronger. I think that what I’ve learned from all my struggles are, in fact, more important than any letter grade, or any SAT score, or even what diploma I will hang on my wall.